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The Birds: Part I
The Birds: Part I
Dramatis Personae
Euelpides
Pisthetaerus
Servant to epops
Epops (the Hoopoe)
A Bird (the Phoenicopterus)
A Priest
A Poet
An Oracle-Monger
Meton, a Geometrician
An Inspector
A Dealer in Decrees
Two Messengers
Iris
A Herald
A Parricide
Cinesias, a Dithyrambic Poet
An Informer
Prometheus
Poseidon
Triballus
Heracles
Chorus of Birds
The Scene is a wild and desolate region; only thickets, rocks, and a
single tree are seen. Euelpides and Pisthetaerus enter, each with a bird in
his hand.
Euelpides (to his jay). Do you think I should head straight for that
tree?
Pisthetaerus (to his crow). Cursed beast, what are you croaking to me?
... to retrace my steps?
Euelpides. Why, you wretch, we are wandering at random, and all we do is
come back to the same spot; we`re wasting our time.
Pisthetaerus. To think that I should trust this crow, which has made me
cover more than a thousand furlongs!
Euelpides. And that I, because of this jay, should have worn my toes
down to the nails!
Pisthetaerus. If only I knew where we were....
Euelpides. Could you find your country again from here?
Pisthetaerus. No, I feel quite sure I could not, any more than
Execestides could find his.
Euelpides. Alas!
Pisthetaerus. Yes, friend, it`s surely the road of `alases` we are
following.
Euelpides. That Philocrates, the bird-seller, played us a nasty trick
when he pretended these two guides could help us to find Tereus, the Epops,
who is a bird without being born of one. Of course, he sold us this jay, a
true son of Tharrhelides, for a penny, and this crow for three; but what can
they do? Why, nothing whatever but bite and scratch! (To his jay) What`s the
matter with you, then, that you keep opening your beak! Do you want us to
fling ourselves down these rocks? There is no road that way.
Pisthetaerus. Not even the vestige of a trail in any direction.
Euelpides. And what does the crow say about the road to follow?
Pisthetaerus. By God, he`s changed his croak.
Euelpides. And which way does he tell us to go now?
Pisthetaerus. He says that, by gnawing and gnawing, he will devour my
fingers.
Euelpides. What misfortune is ours! We strain every nerve to get to the
crows, do everything we can to that end, and we can`t find our way! Yes,
spectators, our madness is quite different from that of Sacas. He is not a
citizen, and would be one at any cost; we, on the contrary, born of an
honorable tribe and family and living in the midst of our fellow-citizens,
we have got out of our country as fast as we could go. It`s not that we hate
it; we recognize it as great and rich, a place where everyone has the right
to ruin himself paying taxes; but the crickets chirrup among the fig-trees
only for a month or two, whereas the Athenians spend their whole lives
chanting forth judgments from their law courts. That is why we started off
with a basket, a stew-pot and some myrtle boughs, and have come to seek a
quiet country in which to settle. We`re going to Tereus, the Epops, to learn
from him whether in his aerial flights he has noticed some town of this kind.
Pisthetaerus. Here! look!
Euelpides. What`s the matter?
Pisthetaerus. Why, the crow has been directing me to something up there
for some time now.
Euelpides. And the jay is also opening his beak and craning his neck to
show me I don`t know what. Clearly there are some birds about here. We shall
soon know, if we kick up a noise to start them.
Pisthetaerus. Do you know what to do? Knock your leg against this rock.
Euelpides. And you your head, to double the noise.
Pisthetaerus. Well, then, use a stone instead; take one and hammer with
it.
Euelpides. Good idea! (He does so.) Hi there, within! Slave! Slave!
Pisthetaerus. What`s that, friend! You say `slave` to summon Epops? It
would be much better to shout, `Epops, Epops!`
Euelpides. Well then, Epops! Must I knock again? Epops!
Servant To Epops (rushing out of a thicket). Who`s there? Who`s howling
for my master?
Pisthetaerus (in terror). Apollo the Deliverer! what an enormous beak!
(He defecates. In the confusion both the jay and the crow fly away.)
Servant (equally frightened). Good God! they are bird-catchers.
Euelpides (reassuring himself). But is it so terrible? Wouldn`t it be
better to explain things?
Servant (also reassuring himself). You`re done for.
Euelpides. But we are not men.
Servant. What are you, then?
Euelpides. I am a Fearling, an African bird.
Servant. You talk nonsense.
Euelpides. Well, then, just ask my feet.
Servant. And this other one, what bird is it? (To Pisthetaerus) Speak
up!
Pisthetaerus (weakly). I? I am a Crapple, from the land of the
Stoolpygii.
Euelpides. But you yourself, in the name of the gods! what animal are
you?
Servant. Why, I am a slave-bird.
Euelpides. Why, have you been conquered by a cock?
Servant. No, but when my master was turned into a hoopoe, he begged me to
become a bird also, to follow and to serve him.
Euelpides. Does a bird need a servant, then?
Servant. That`s because he was once a man. Say he wants a dish of
sardines from Phaleron: I grab my dish and fly to bring him some. Say he wants
some pea soup: I take my ladle and pot and run to get it.
Euelpides. This, then, is truly a running-bird. Come, do us the kindness
to call your master.
Servant. Why, he has just fallen asleep after a feed of myrtleberries and
a few grubs.
Euelpides. Never mind; wake him up.
Servant. I`m sure he`ll be angry. However, I`ll wake him to please you.
(He goes back into the thicket.)
Pisthetaerus (as soon as the servant is out of sight). You animal! Why,
I am almost dead with terror!
Euelpides. Oh my God! it was sheer fear that made me lose may jay.
Pisthetaerus. Ah, you big coward! So you let go your jay?
Euelpides. And didn`t you lose your crow when you fell sprawling on
the ground? Tell me that.
Pisthetaerus. I certainly did not!
Euelpides. Where is it, then?
Pisthetaerus. It flew away.
Euelpides. And you did not let it go? Oh, you brave fellow!
Epops (from within). Open the thicket, let me out! (He comes out of the
thicket.)
Euelpides. By Heracles! what a creature! what plumage! What means this
triple crest?
Epops. Who wants me?
Euelpides (banteringly). The twelve great gods have used you ill, it
seems.
Epops. Are you twitting me about my feathers? I have been a man,
strangers.
Euelpides. It`s not you we are jeering at.
Epops. At what, then?
Euelpides. Why, it`s your beak that looks so ridiculous to us.
Epops. This is how Sophocles outrages me in his tragedies. Know, I once
was Tereus.
Euelpides. You were Tereus; and what are you now? a bird or a peacock?
Epops. A bird.
Euelpides. Then where are your feathers? I don`t see any.
Epops. They have fallen off.
Euelpides. Illness?
Epops. No. All birds moult their feathers, you know, every winter, and
others grow in their place. But tell me, who are you?
Euelpides. We? We are mortals.
Epops. From what country?
Euelpides. From the land of the beautiful galleys.
Epops. Are you dicasts?
Euelpides. No; if anything, we are anti-dicasts.
Epops. Is that kind of seed sown among you?
Euelpides. You have to look hard to find even a little in our fields.
Epops. What brings you here?
Euelpides. We want to pay you a visit.
Epops. What for?
Euelpides. Because you once were a man, as we are; once you had debts,
as we have; once you did not want to pay them, like ourselves; furthermore,
as a bird, you have seen all lands and seas. Thus you have all human
knowledge as well as that of birds. And so we have come to you to beg you to
direct us to some cosy town in which one can lie down on thick coverlets.
Epops. And are you looking for a greater city than Athens?
Euelpides. No, not a greater, but one more pleasant to live in.
Epops. Then you are looking for an aristocratic country.
Euelpides. I? Not at all! I hold the son of Scellias in horror.
Epops. But, after all, what sort of city would please you best?
Euelpides. A place where this sort of thing would be the most important
business transacted. - Some friend would come knocking at the door quite early
in the morning, saying, `By Olympian Zeus, be at my house early, as soon as
you have bathed, and bring your children too. I`m giving a wedding feast, so
don`t fail, or else don`t cross my threshold when I am in distress.`
Epops. Ah! that`s what they call being fond of hardships! (To
Pisthetaerus) And what do you say?
Pisthetaerus. My tastes are similar.
Epops. And they are?
Pisthetaerus. I want a town where the father of a handsome lad will stop
in the street and say to me reproachfully, as if I had failed him, `Ah! Is
this well done, Stilbonides? You met my son coming from the bath after the
gymnasium, and you neither spoke to him, nor kissed him, nor took him with
you, nor ever once felt his balls. Would anyone call you an old friend of
mine?
Epops. Ah, wag, I see you are fond of suffering! But there is a city of
delights such as you want. It`s on the Red Sea.
Euelpides. Oh, no. Not a sea-port, where some fine morning the Salaminian
galley can appear, bringing a process-server along. Have you no Greek town
you can propose to us?
Epops. Why not choose Lepreon in Elis for your settlement?
Euelpides. By Zeus! I could not look at Lepreon without disgust, because
of Melanthius.
Epops. Then, again, there is the Opuntian Locris, where you could live.
Euelpides. I would not be Opuntian for any money. But come, what is it
like to live with the birds? You should know pretty well.
Epops. Why, it`s not a disagreeable life. In the first place, we don`t
have purses.
Euelpides. That does away with a lot of roguery.
Epops. For food, the gardens yield us white sesame, myrtleberries,
poppies and mint.
Euelpides. Why, it`s the life of the newly-wed indeed!
Pisthetaerus. Ha! I am beginning to see a great plan which will transfer
the supreme power to the birds - if you will only take my advice.
Epops. Take your advice? In what way?
Pisthetaerus. In what way? Well, firstly, don`t fly in all directions
with open beak: it`s not dignified. Among us, when we see a thoughtless man,
we ask, `What sort of bird is that? and Teleas answers, `It`s a man who has no
brain, a bird that has lost his head, a creature you cannot catch, for it
never remains in any one place.`
Epops. By Zeus himself! your joke hits the mark. But what shall we do?
Pisthetaerus. Found a city.
Epops. We birds? But what sort of city should we build?
Pisthetaerus. Oh, really, really! you talk like such a fool! Look down.
Epops. I am looking.
Pisthetaerus. Now look up.
Epops. I am looking.
Pisthetaerus. Turn your head round.
Epops. Ah, it will be pleasant for me if I end in twisting my neck off!
Pisthetaerus. What have you seen?
Epops. The clouds and the sky.
Pisthetaerus. Very well: is not this the pole of the birds then?
Epops. How their pole?
Pisthetaerus. Or, if you like, their place. And since it turns and passes
through the whole universe, it is called `pole.` If you build and fortify it,
you will turn your pole into a city. In this way you will reign over mankind
as you do over the grasshoppers, and you will cause the gods to die of rabid
hunger.
Epops. How so?
Pisthetaerus. The air is between earth and heaven. When we want to go to
Delphi, we ask the Boeotians for leave of passage; in the same way, when men
sacrifice to the gods, unless the latter pay you tribute, you exercise the
right of every nation towards strangers and don`t allow the smoke of the
sacrifices to pass through your city and territory.
Epops. By earth! by snares! by network! by cages! I never heard of
anything more cleverly conceived; and, if the other birds approve, I am going
to build the city along with you.
Pisthetaerus. Who will explain the matter to them?
Epops. You yourself. Before I came they were quite ignorant, but since I
have lived with them I have taught them to speak.
Pisthetaerus. But how can they be gathered?
Epops. Easily, I will hasten down to the thicket to waken my dear Procne,
and as they hear our voices, they will come to us hot wing.
Pisthetaerus. My dear bird, lose no time, please! please! Fly at once
into the thicket and awaken Procne. (Epops rushes into the thicket.)
Epops (from within, singing). Chase off drowsy sleep, dear companion.
Let the sacred hymn gush from your divine throat in melodious strains; roll
forth in soft cadence your refreshing melodies to bewail the fate of Itys,
which has been the cause of so many tears to us both. Your pure notes rise
through the thick leaves of the yew-tree up to the throne of Zeus, where
Phoebus listens to you, Phoebus with his golden hair. And his ivory lyre
responds to your plaintive accents; he gathers the choir of the gods, and from
their immortal lips pours forth a sacred chant of blessed voices. (The flute
is played behind the scene, imitating the song of the nightingale.)
Pisthetaerus. Oh! by Zeus! what a throat that little bird possesses. He
has filled the whole thicket with honey-sweet melody!
Euelpides. Hush!
Pisthetaerus. What`s the matter?
Euelpides. Be still!
Pisthetaerus. What for?
Euelpides. Epops is going to sing again.
Epops (in the thicket, singing). Epopopoi popoi popopopoi popoi, here,
here, quick, quick, quick, my comrades in the air; all you who pillage the
fertile farming lands, the numberless tribes who gather and devour the barley
seeds, the swift flying race that sings so sweetly. And you whose gentle
twitter resounds through the fields with the little cry of
tiotiotiotiotiotiotiotio; and you who hop about the branches of the ivy in the
gardens; you mountain birds, who feed on the wild oliveberries or the arbutus,
hurry to come at my call, trioto, trioto, totobrix; you also, who snap up the
sharp-stinging gnats in the marshy vales, and you who dwell in the fine plain
of Marathon, all damp with dew, and you, francolin with speckled wings; you,
too, halcyons, who flit over the swelling waves of the sea, come hither to
hear the tidings; let all the tribes of longnecked birds assemble here! Know
that a clever old man has come to us, bringing an entirely new idea and
proposing great reforms. Let all come to the debate here, here, here, here.
Torotorotorotorotix, kikkabau, kikkabau, torotorotorolililix.
Pisthetaerus. Can you see any bird?
Euelpides. By Phoebus, no! and yet I am straining my eyesight to scan the
sky.
Pisthetaerus. It was hardly worth Epops` while to go and bury himself in
the thicket like a hatching plover.
A Bird (entering). Torotix, torotix.
Pisthetaerus. Wait, friend, there`s a bird.
Euelpides. By Zeus, it is a bird; but what kind? Isn`t it a peacock?
Pisthetaerus (as Epops comes out of the thicket). Epops will tell us.
What is this bird.?
Epops. It`s not one of those you are used to seeing; it`s a bird from the
marshes.
Euelpides. Oh! But he is very handsome with his wings as crimson as
flame.
Epops. Undoubtedly; he is called flamingo.
Euelpides (excitedly). Hi! I say! You!
Pisthetaerus. What are you shouting for?
Euelpides. Why, here`s another bird.
Pisthetaerus. Yes indeed; this one`s a foreign bird too. (To Epops) What
is this bird from beyond the mountains with a look as solemn as it is stupid?
Epops. He is called the Mede.
Euelpides. The Mede! But, by Heracles, how, if he`s a Mede, has he flown
here without a camel?
Pisthetaerus. Here`s another bird with a crest. (From here on, the
numerous birds that make up the Chorus keep rushing in.)
Euelpides. Ah, that`s curious! I say, Epops, you are not the only one of
your kind, then?
Epops. This bird is the son of Philocles, who is the son of Epops; so
that, you see, I am his grandfather; just as one might say, Hipponicus the son
of Callias the son of Hipponicus.
Euelpides. Then this bird is Callias! Why, what a lot of feathers he has
lost!
Epops. That`s because he is honest: the informers set upon him, and the
women pluck out his feathers.
Euelpides. By Poseidon, do you see that many-colored bird? What is his
name?
Epops. This one? That`s the glutton.
Euelpides. Is there another glutton besides Cleonymus? But why, if he is
Cleonymus, has he not thrown away his crest? - But what is the meaning of all
these crests? Have these birds come to contend for the double stadium prize?
Epops. They are like the Carians, who cling to the crests of their
mountains for greater safety.
Pisthetaerus. Oh, Poseidon! look what awful swarms of birds are gathering
here!
Euelpides. By Phoebus! what a cloud! The entrance is no longer visible,
they fly together so closely.
Pisthetaerus. Here is the partridge.
Euelpides. Why, there is the francolin.
Pisthetaerus. There is the poachard.
Euelpides. Here is the kingfisher. (To Epops) What`s that bird behind the
kingfisher?
Epops. That`s the barber.
Euelpides. What? a bird a barber?
Pisthetaerus. Why, Sporgilus is one.
Epops. Here comes the owl.
Euelpides. And who is it brings an owl to Athens?
Epops (pointing to the various species). Here is the magpie, the
turtle-dove, the swallow, the horned owl, the buzzard, the pigeon, the falcon,
the ring-dove, the cuckoo, the red-foot, the red-cap, the purple-cap, the
kestrel, the diver, the ousel, the osprey, the woodpecker . . . .
Pisthetaerus. Oh! what a lot of birds!
Euelpides. Oh! what a lot of blackbirds!
Pisthetaerus. How they scold, how they come rushing up! What a noise!
what a noise!
Euelpides. Are they angry with us?
Pisthetaerus. Oh! there! there! they are opening their beaks and staring
at us.
Euelpides. Why, so they are.
Leader of the Chorus. Popopopopopoi. Where is he who called me? Where am
I to find him?
Epops. I have been waiting for you a long while! I never fail in my word
to my friends.
Leader of the Chorus. Tititititititi. What good news have you for me?
Epops. Something that concerns our common safety, and that is just as
pleasant as it is to the point. Two men, subtle reasoners, have come here to
seek me.
Leader of the Chorus. Where? How? What are you saying?
Epops. I say, two old men have come from the abode of humans to propose a
vast and splendid scheme to us.
Leader of the Chorus. Oh! it`s a horrible, unheard-of-crime! What are you
saying?
Epops. Never let my words scare you.
Leader of the Chorus. What have you done to me?
Epops. I have welcomed two men who wish to live with us.
Leader of the Chorus. And you have dared to do that!
Epops. Yes, and I am delighted at having done so.
Leader of the Chorus. And are they already with us?
Epops. Just as much as I am.
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